Self Esteem Self Confidence and Our Emotional States

How is your self esteem, self-confidence related to your emotional state at any one time?.And if it is, what can you or I do to take advantage of this relationship?.Let's first explore the concept of an "emotional state".Human beings are creatures of emotion. We can easily find ourselves experiencing a multitude of emotional states just throughout one day.For example:.

You are woken up on Monday morning by bright sunlight and the happy sound of chirping birds. You instantly feel good!
Then you realize it is Monday morning and it is time to get ready for work. In fact you have a scheduled meeting with your boss this very morning.

Suddenly your good feelings evaporate and a sense of dread looms.
So you take a shower and the hot water tingling on your skin starts to wash away the sense of dread -- and you feel good again looking at the bright sunny day.
You move into the kitchen ready to make a cup of coffee.

Alas, the coffee is finished! Someone else in the house got there before you. Your feelings sink. You wonder what kind of Monday you are going to have.And so it goes.

Our day is full of emotional ups and downs.No matter which way you look at it we are virtually held to ransom by our emotions.So how does this affect your self-esteem?.Answer: It plays two major roles.

  • Because our emotions heavily influence our habitual behavior, having long periods of time where you are continually accessing "negative" emotional states can cause a corresponding downturn in your ability to find resourceful states and create positive behaviors.

  • At its very deepest level, our own self esteem could be simply described as a group of emotional states. Therefore, if one is able to recreate those emotional states linked to high self-esteem, at will, then the destination and the journey is as one.
  • .

    So what exactly is an emotional state -- and how can we influence it?.At any one time it could be said that our "emotional state" is comprised of a collection of our thought patterns, our feelings (sensations in the body), and our physiology (the way we sit, stand, hold ourselves, treat our body).And all this would seem obvious wouldn't it?.So how can we make these obvious facts help us influence our self esteem?.Answer: By deliberately choosing stimuli that create very specific and preferable emotional states.

    And if that sounds rather difficult or somewhat technical, you should feel quite happy in knowing that you are already in possession of this highly refined skill!.Think about this for a moment. Have you ever heard a certain song and it has taken you straight back to a specific time in your life? Have you ever smelt a certain perfume and it has reminded you specifically of someone?.The above two examples demonstrate how a very specific stimulus can cause a very specific emotional state, and this is the important point -- with absolutely no logical cause.

    So this is what you can do. Choose a very specific stimulus. For example, this could be a certain word, it could even be a song, it could be a picture in your mind of something very specific, or it could be the way you suddenly touch or posture your body.Now think of a very deeply satisfying emotional state. Maybe you can remember one, or maybe you can just "fake it".Now very specifically practice associating your specific stimulus with your chosen emotional state.

    (There is in fact a specific formula for doing this which is not within the scope of this article but if you would like to know more, feel free to visit for more information.).

    By practicing this on a daily basis, you will soon be able to call up your preferred emotional state, or emotional states, at will.Now you will have a greater probability of experiencing more positive states on a regular basis. This will then cause you to create for yourself more resourceful behaviors and outcomes.

    Which in turn over time will cause a reinforcement of higher self esteem.And perhaps you will find yourself waking up on Monday morning with a different feeling altogether!.

    .Robert Scanlon is a corporate consultant, NLP Trainer, and the author of "Supercharge Your Self Esteem In 28 Days Or Less", an online, multimedia course and ebook for Building Self Esteem and Self Confidence. You can sign up for the course at http://www.

    By: Robert Scanlon

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